In Condemnation

by Pandemix

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about

LP comes with poster, zine, and DL code.
Digital download comes with a pdf of the zine.

credits

released February 22, 2019

All performances and images by Pandemix.

Recorded, engineered, produced, mixed, and mastered by Will Killingsworth.

Boston Punk 2019.

Vinyl release by Boss Tuneage/Dirt Cult.

license

Some rights reserved. Please refer to individual track pages for license info.

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about

Pandemix Boston, Massachusetts

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Track Name: No Monuments
The city wants to swallow me whole so I will spit
Upon your martyrs graves every chance that I get

Forsaken heroes

The portents of my failure and loss yet to be
No more will I sing their songs, the banner lowered finally

No monuments to honor
No history to remember
We are a generation
Without heroes or splendor

Walking underneath the carrion sun
Abandoned our bodies to what may come
I pull my coat tighter as I turn away from the

Sound of the choir Sunday morning down the street
No hymns rise from my lips, silent in unbelief.

Is there a patron saint for the perverts and the thieves
Aching to be forgotten
Begging for annihilation
Rejecting all institutions
The cycle incomplete
Track Name: Can't Assimilate
“If you wanna come with me, we could have a ‘good time’”
I prefer when my times are bad, get fucked
Or else they’ll tell you you’re a fag, an aberration
Who died and made you a cop

Can’t assimilate to your monochrome view
Won’t self-flagellate til my skin’s thin for you

“If you pass this barricade, you won’t have our ‘protection’”
Never wanted it anyways, get fucked
Smile and wave for the parade, riot gear for the demonstration
Pride on whose terms? Pride in what?

Words they can’t translate
Gestures they imitate
Walking to the store, or home from the bar
Young lovers yet to be crushed
Toxins still waiting to be flushed
The break in the broadcast wave
Don’t participate!

Wear their hate like a badge
Wave their ill will as your flag
Their every day is just a photocopy of the last
Sleeveless and unslept
Unplanned for what comes next
A studied veneer of indifference to perfect
Track Name: A Pox
The laughter of the privileged few
Who’ve never felt the other shoe
Becomes corporeal in the shadows
And unsheathes like a knife

A pox on humankind
To think our fates aren’t intertwined
So lonely, so lost
Got what you wanted, goddamn the cost

The disdain of fortunate sons
Who always play it two-on-one,
Prowls these city streets and hides in my heart
And spreads its tendrils wide

A pox on humankind
To always search but never find
So lonely, so lost
Got what you wanted, goddamn the cost

I am a sickness, my own malignancy
The worst possible version of me
I am a blank spot, in my own memory
The simple answer I’ll never see

A pox on humankind
To accept roles we’ve been assigned
Condemned to rotting body and a feeble mind
So lonely, so lost
Got what you wanted, get on the cross.
Track Name: Synthetix
Transfixed as we sit, the spectacle of death
Multiplies and overflows like fish and loaves of bread
A modern miracle, what your leaders said
Is exactly what the headlines the next morning read

It’s a big world when you’re so small
From one person’s vantage, you can’t see it all
It’s all about these economies of fear
The television ratings are at record highs this year!

Each reaction mediated, each eulogy curtailed
An “I told you so” for every revolution failed
It’s all about a relationship to violence
If it’s constant and random then you can’t politicize it

Nothing’s left that you can find that would defy belief
Plastic flowers mark synthetic expressions of grief
Ad revenue rising with each national tragedy
Plastic flowers, for you, for me
Track Name: Patterns Repeat
I think we’ve met before, or maybe I’ve just seen your picture
Is my mind getting slow or is life just moving quicker

Is everyone I’ve ever met just faking it like me
Patterns repeat
Melt the features off of my face
My mind is 99% post consumer waste and
I think I’ve got buyers remorse

And I’d like to make a return

I’m not getting any younger, new distractions everyday
Why rush into failure? There’s always time to procrastinate!

How did my time become all yours
Wish I could walk back through this door
Line em up on the killing floor
Wish I could walk back through that door
I was the prey, I was the predator
Track Name: Downward Trend
It’s a downward trend, decay that never ends
Jam the signal then complain your messages won’t send
Downward trend, some breaks never mend
What’s it supposed to mean when you call somebody your friend

Living by your wits while you're drinking them away

Run your mouth, spiral and flame out
As your lacquered sneer’s so quickly fading to a pout
No remorse, fucking a dead horse
Diagnosed the sickness after it had run its course

I can’t see the point anymore.
In love with your uneven score
Wondering just what to do now
And where have all your friends went

Living by your wits while you’re drinking them away
Made your own problems and some are here to stay

Lines were crossed, can’t get back what was lost
Bought the fantasy without examining the cost
It’s a sharp decline, prisoner in your mind
Looking worse for wear but you swear that you’re feeling fine
Track Name: Oblivion Lullabies
I’ve been losing sleep again!
Wondering
What’s the point of youth if it’s not wasted
Who cares about authenticity if you don’t fake it

I made this bed of nails, I’ll lay in it
I’ll gladly accept this, my punishment for taking
Obscene comfort in my oblivion lullabies

There’s something nameless inside me, barren and burned
I can’t believe that I could be the only one

Who feels like a voyeur in her own life
Who feels the dark corners converging while she walks in the cracks of light
Who made a promise she couldn’t keep
Who didn’t care about the cost of her beauty sleep
Track Name: Through The Night
Picking on the weakest member
Tracking money that you spend
Staying in touch with your mother
Making sure you stay on trend

We all stumble through the night

Severed fingers in a vase
Bouquets made just to discard
Where do I go when I’m asleep
What happens if I go too far

I feel like life has blown a great big hole through me
And my insides are out, and you’ll watch as I leak
Petty resentments from every work week
My lovers & friends all become enemies
Night blooming flowers line a path choked with weeds
One person’s healthy appetite is another’s greed

Another person’s narcissism
Can help mine to meet its mark
An impending cataclysm
Another drowning in the dark
Track Name: Past Selves
Oh I’m settling in this city like someone who’s been interred
Stasis remains so clear behind faces so blurred
Oh and does my youth flutter like a flag flown at half mast
I need distraction from how quickly time has passed

Oh I want you to take off my dress
I want you to take me gently and peel back my skin
I want to say the same words over and over, again and again
I want you to feel the emptiness that surges beneath
Inculcated belief in

Degradation
Manipulation
Remain steadfastly human
In the face of all this
Dehumanization

Navigate the wreckage of past selves left behind
Search knowing full well that there is nothing to find
To express desire is to plot one’s own death
With every gasping breath

I've searched for light within the darkness, no reprieve
I've searched for meaning in chaos, no clarity

I’ve found the choir holds no salvation for me
Told them “we’re all we have”, they said that I’m naive

Once you step outside of these prescribed boundaries
And shown them that your piss can fall from from the tree
All you’ll find you have is all that you believe
Track Name: Column of Light
The longer I’m alive the more I’m amazed
Every time I wake I think I’m living in a joke
So many people living just to follow orders
It’s almost so funny that you could choke

I saw you burning on the northern bound bus
A column of light as if from another place
I heard them laughing as you found your seat
The longer I’m alive the more I’m disgraced

May every breath I ever draw be used in condemnation
And every time I take a step, I'll walk forsaken

May every breath I ever draw be used in condemnation

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