In Condemnation

by Pandemix

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No Monuments 02:52
The city wants to swallow me whole so I will spit Upon your martyrs graves every chance that I get Forsaken heroes The portents of my failure and loss yet to be No more will I sing their songs, the banner lowered finally No monuments to honor No history to remember We are a generation Without heroes or splendor Walking underneath the carrion sun Abandoned our bodies to what may come I pull my coat tighter as I turn away from the Sound of the choir Sunday morning down the street No hymns rise from my lips, silent in unbelief. Is there a patron saint for the perverts and the thieves Aching to be forgotten Begging for annihilation Rejecting all institutions The cycle incomplete
“If you wanna come with me, we could have a ‘good time’” I prefer when my times are bad, get fucked Or else they’ll tell you you’re a fag, an aberration Who died and made you a cop Can’t assimilate to your monochrome view Won’t self-flagellate til my skin’s thin for you “If you pass this barricade, you won’t have our ‘protection’” Never wanted it anyways, get fucked Smile and wave for the parade, riot gear for the demonstration Pride on whose terms? Pride in what? Words they can’t translate Gestures they imitate Walking to the store, or home from the bar Young lovers yet to be crushed Toxins still waiting to be flushed The break in the broadcast wave Don’t participate! Wear their hate like a badge Wave their ill will as your flag Their every day is just a photocopy of the last Sleeveless and unslept Unplanned for what comes next A studied veneer of indifference to perfect
A Pox 02:44
The laughter of the privileged few Who’ve never felt the other shoe Becomes corporeal in the shadows And unsheathes like a knife A pox on humankind To think our fates aren’t intertwined So lonely, so lost Got what you wanted, goddamn the cost The disdain of fortunate sons Who always play it two-on-one, Prowls these city streets and hides in my heart And spreads its tendrils wide A pox on humankind To always search but never find So lonely, so lost Got what you wanted, goddamn the cost I am a sickness, my own malignancy The worst possible version of me I am a blank spot, in my own memory The simple answer I’ll never see A pox on humankind To accept roles we’ve been assigned Condemned to rotting body and a feeble mind So lonely, so lost Got what you wanted, get on the cross.
Synthetix 02:50
Transfixed as we sit, the spectacle of death Multiplies and overflows like fish and loaves of bread A modern miracle, what your leaders said Is exactly what the headlines the next morning read It’s a big world when you’re so small From one person’s vantage, you can’t see it all It’s all about these economies of fear The television ratings are at record highs this year! Each reaction mediated, each eulogy curtailed An “I told you so” for every revolution failed It’s all about a relationship to violence If it’s constant and random then you can’t politicize it Nothing’s left that you can find that would defy belief Plastic flowers mark synthetic expressions of grief Ad revenue rising with each national tragedy Plastic flowers, for you, for me
I think we’ve met before, or maybe I’ve just seen your picture Is my mind getting slow or is life just moving quicker Is everyone I’ve ever met just faking it like me Patterns repeat Melt the features off of my face My mind is 99% post consumer waste and I think I’ve got buyers remorse And I’d like to make a return I’m not getting any younger, new distractions everyday Why rush into failure? There’s always time to procrastinate! How did my time become all yours Wish I could walk back through this door Line em up on the killing floor Wish I could walk back through that door I was the prey, I was the predator
It’s a downward trend, decay that never ends Jam the signal then complain your messages won’t send Downward trend, some breaks never mend What’s it supposed to mean when you call somebody your friend Living by your wits while you're drinking them away Run your mouth, spiral and flame out As your lacquered sneer’s so quickly fading to a pout No remorse, fucking a dead horse Diagnosed the sickness after it had run its course I can’t see the point anymore. In love with your uneven score Wondering just what to do now And where have all your friends went Living by your wits while you’re drinking them away Made your own problems and some are here to stay Lines were crossed, can’t get back what was lost Bought the fantasy without examining the cost It’s a sharp decline, prisoner in your mind Looking worse for wear but you swear that you’re feeling fine
I’ve been losing sleep again! Wondering What’s the point of youth if it’s not wasted Who cares about authenticity if you don’t fake it I made this bed of nails, I’ll lay in it I’ll gladly accept this, my punishment for taking Obscene comfort in my oblivion lullabies There’s something nameless inside me, barren and burned I can’t believe that I could be the only one Who feels like a voyeur in her own life Who feels the dark corners converging while she walks in the cracks of light Who made a promise she couldn’t keep Who didn’t care about the cost of her beauty sleep
Picking on the weakest member Tracking money that you spend Staying in touch with your mother Making sure you stay on trend We all stumble through the night Severed fingers in a vase Bouquets made just to discard Where do I go when I’m asleep What happens if I go too far I feel like life has blown a great big hole through me And my insides are out, and you’ll watch as I leak Petty resentments from every work week My lovers & friends all become enemies Night blooming flowers line a path choked with weeds One person’s healthy appetite is another’s greed Another person’s narcissism Can help mine to meet its mark An impending cataclysm Another drowning in the dark
Past Selves 05:19
Oh I’m settling in this city like someone who’s been interred Stasis remains so clear behind faces so blurred Oh and does my youth flutter like a flag flown at half mast I need distraction from how quickly time has passed Oh I want you to take off my dress I want you to take me gently and peel back my skin I want to say the same words over and over, again and again I want you to feel the emptiness that surges beneath Inculcated belief in Degradation Manipulation Remain steadfastly human In the face of all this Dehumanization Navigate the wreckage of past selves left behind Search knowing full well that there is nothing to find To express desire is to plot one’s own death With every gasping breath I've searched for light within the darkness, no reprieve I've searched for meaning in chaos, no clarity I’ve found the choir holds no salvation for me Told them “we’re all we have”, they said that I’m naive Once you step outside of these prescribed boundaries And shown them that your piss can fall from from the tree All you’ll find you have is all that you believe
The longer I’m alive the more I’m amazed Every time I wake I think I’m living in a joke So many people living just to follow orders It’s almost so funny that you could choke I saw you burning on the northern bound bus A column of light as if from another place I heard them laughing as you found your seat The longer I’m alive the more I’m disgraced May every breath I ever draw be used in condemnation And every time I take a step, I'll walk forsaken May every breath I ever draw be used in condemnation


LP comes with poster, zine, and DL code.
Digital download comes with a pdf of the zine.


released February 22, 2019

All performances and images by Pandemix.

Recorded, engineered, produced, mixed, and mastered by Will Killingsworth.

Boston Punk 2019.

Vinyl release by Boss Tuneage/Dirt Cult.


Some rights reserved. Please refer to individual track pages for license info.



Pandemix Boston, Massachusetts

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